Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
