we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize