She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
