Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
