I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
