I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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