So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
