dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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