I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
