it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
