My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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