I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
