I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
