dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
