Whoa Z and x make the same sound
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Be still, my beating vagina.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize