Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
