Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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