Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize