So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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