I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize