Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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