nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize