Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
