I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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