Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
