you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
