Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
