I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
