is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
