just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
