Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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