are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
