We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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