Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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