Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
MIDGETS
????
I believe in your delicious
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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