Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
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