Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
