we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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