He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
