belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
