So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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