You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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