Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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