brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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