my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
handjob tips. give me some.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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