if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
