yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize