just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
