Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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