i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
