I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
