i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
