Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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