I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
