Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
