why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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