Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
