Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
