I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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