i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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