3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
