I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize