walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
