Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
