is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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