You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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