I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Bring me that man meat
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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