I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
