I wannas sexs uuuuu
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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