Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
