My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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